H is for Lobster

You know that baseball idiom about left field? The one we use when something unpredictable occurs? We're going along, minding our own business, when suddenly, something comes "out of left field" and complicates everything.

Well, let me tell you something. After moving to a foreign country, seems like left field just got a whole LOT bigger.

So, here are list of things I didn't expect. Maybe you can learn from my flounderings.

A is for Airport Security

The security line at Luxembourg Airport is deceiving. You may think you are moving along just fine, but there is a possibilty that the line will stall out, making you very late for your flight. (I could tell you an awful story about a mother, an infant, and a toddler missing their flight because the security guy wouldn't help, but I still get a little worked up when I think about it, so we'll pass.) When you get to your gate, be sure NOT TO DUCK THE STANCHIONS. It may seem like you have just taken a wrong turn and are in line at Gate 15 when you really need Gate 9, but if you duck the rope, you will be verbally body-slammed by an angry Luxembourgish Security Guard. That line you are standing in? It's the security check for ALL the gates in the little alcove, and according to Furious Security Guard, if you had arrived at your gate without her stamp it would have caused "big trouble." Keep in mind that no amount of apologizing will soothe this person. You have apparently just given her enough adrenaline to lift a small car, so the best thing you can do is to mumble apologies to the people you inadvertantly cut in front of and get on your flight as rapidly as possible.

B is for Bus

The stop for the airport actually drops you at the airport. If you get off at the one that shares the name of the airport, you have to walk half a mile, which might make you late to stand in line at security. (See above.) Also, right now Russ and I seem to be the only people who actually beep their bus cards when riding the bus. Further investigation may be required.

C is for Carts

When you get to the grocery store, make sure you have a 1 Euro coin with you. The grocery carts are locked up in lines, and you have to insert the coin to free a cart. Your coin will be returned when you bring back the cart.

D is for "Don't Forget to Pack Your"

Measuring Cups. Socks. External Hard Drive. Over the Counter Drugs. Workout Clothes. Because we did.

E is for English

Yes, a lot of people speak English here. But not everyone. So, if you get into trouble at the grocery store, you can tell which cashiers speak English because they'll have a little British flag hanging below their checkout number. The more flags a person has, the more languages they speak. Which means in Luxembourg it's possible to speak FOUR languages and still work as a grocery store clerk.... (This also fits nicely under I is for Inferiority Complex.)

F is for Frentalian

This is the language you end up speaking when you try to speak Italian after weeks of shoveling as many French words into your brain as possible. Important note: No one will understand you. No one. And you may accidentally order an espresso. Just so you know.

G is for Groceries

Granulated sugar is like sand--you're looking for sucre fine. Powdered sugar is not the same thing as confectionary sugar. Make sure the yogurt is yogurt and not some kind of strange gelatin dessert. Honey Nut Cheerios are weird. Produce must be WEIGHED in the produce section. They CANNOT weigh it at the register. No weight sticker, no apples. This only goes for produce that is signed per kilo; per item stuff is simply counted. But if you buy it, be prepared to use it in the next 48 hours. Produce doesn't last long. Milk, however, may last you three months.

H is for Lobster

Obviously. (See picture above.)

And that concludes today's lesson. Thank you for your participation.

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