The Seven-Month Itch

It’s now been sept mois since arriving here in Luxembourg. Here’s what we’ve been up to:

Thing 1: Metz and Chambley Hot Air Balloon Festival

Every other August, our little corner of France hosts the world's largest Hot Air Balloon Festival: the Chambley Lorraine Mondial Air Balloons. With it being an odd-numbered year, we made the hour-long trek down to witness the spectacle, stopping over in the tri-cathedraled town of Metz for lunch and architecture.

Metz is a seriously underrated city: the Moselle river runs through the center of town, and you can rent putt-putt boats to cruise up and down the river, along with several hordes of swans. (Also, we found Star's dream restaurant (100 Patates) and dream store: outdoor gear + animals + coloring books).

The largest of the holy triumverate is the Gothic giant Saint-Etienne (aka Saint Stephens aka "the Good Lord's Lantern" aka la Lanterne du Bon Dieu ), housing the world's largest expanse of stained glass (including one section by Marc Chagall), as well as some... erm... tasty reliefs that would do ol' Screwtape proud.

Mmmm...tastes like goat.

The second church we visited was the Temple Neuf ("new" is a relative term here), a Romantic beaut set right on the point of the river. There was a wedding going on inside, so we had to content ourselves with a stroll through the garden. And we had to to settle for 2 of 3 churches this time, because balloons were calling.

And so we were on our way out to the rolling fields and pastures of Chambley, where the preceding week's crowd had witnessed a new world record for most simulataneous hot air balloon launches: 433! We didn't see quite that many (only, you know, several hundred), but we did see a lobster, a wine bottle, a glove, and the appropriately brief flight of a rooster. It was SO magical to watch hundreds of balloons, held suspended like Christmas ornaments or a Galileo thermometer. I felt giddy, and I can't wait for 2017. (**Note: There is some dispute as to whether we'll be here for August 2017, but if so, we're totally Phileas Fogg-ing that shiz.**)

Thing 2: Schueberfourer

In 1340, John the Blind, King of Bohemia and Count of Luxembourg, declared that every St. Bartholomew's Eve, Luxembourg would hold a festival. Star and I made a showing at the 675th annual Schueberfourer in true 'Merican style: cotton candy the size of your head, and the swing rides!

Yes, that is a giant Churro man (Monsieur Chi-Chi) with a top hat eating a bar of chocolate. The US of A doesn't have a monopoly on fair fair fare. Also, the rides last no less than five minutes, or precisely long enough for you to regret just eating a bag of churros dipped in chocolate.

Schueberfourer inspired the story of Hansel och Gretel. P.S. European licorice is amazing.

The view from atop a 675-year old Ferris wheel.

Nom nom nom.

A word on John of Bohemia, perhaps Luxembourg's monarchical high-water (he was also titular king of Poland and eldest son of the Holy Roman Emperor): at 40 years old, his eyesight failed him, leaving him both blind and nicknamed. This did not dissuade him from riding into battle to oppose the English. As chronicled:

"Then he said: 'Sirs, ye are my men, my companions and friends in this journey: I require you bring me so far forward, that I may strike one stroke with my sword.' They said they would do his commandment, and to the intent that they should not lose him in the press, they tied all their reins of their bridles each to other and set the king before to accomplish his desire, and so they went on their enemies. The king was so far forward that he strake a stroke with his sword, yea and more than four, and fought valiantly and so did his company; and they adventured themselves so forward, that they were there all slain, and the next day they were found in the place about the king, and all their horses tied each to other."

And so the pinnacle of Luxembourgish power ended in one fell strake.

Thing 3: Bathtubs, Belgium, Battlestar Galactica

One weekend, with strawberry season on the wane, we decided to venture to Belgium to taste the famous Wepion variety before it was too late. It also happened to be Assumption weekend, which means (of course!) bathtub regattas. Or at least that's what it means in Dinant, a quaint river-town nestled on the Meuse. Like a funky homecoming parade, every year Dinant picks a theme (this year was movies), and the local organizations put together, well... floats: man-powered watercraft which are raced/rowed a kilometer or so downstream. Unfortunately, it was a bit drizzly this year, but the courage of the fearless crews was not lost (while it was wet, the participants were fairly sloshed already, if you catch my meaning).

The statue is of a young Chuck de Gaulle, who took a bullet to the knee fighting the Germans in Dinant.

Belgium film was well represented by Tin-Tin and Smurf (Les Scrumpfs) bathtubs.

Earlier that morning, Star and I had gone a-venturin'... and discovered an abandoned estate along the river, complete with water wheel. After a little reconnaisance, Star declared (for the sixth of seventh time) that she would be perfectly happy with living in Belgium.

Unfortunately,the castle overlooking our little claimed estate did not come as part of the package. Le sigh.

She belongs in a castle.

Another highlight of the weekend was taking a tour of the Grottes de Han, a system of subterranean caves deep under the Ardennes. Eons of waterflow carved out the limestone beneath Belgium, creating an impressive number of caverns, which in turn created an impressive number of tourist traps willing to take your money and take you around. (A side note: one thing being in Europe has taught me, is how incredibly fortunate we are to have the National Park Service in the US. Europe's many natural wonders are very much privately owned--and you can tell the difference.) This is not to say it was kitschy or anything--we had a wonderful Mr. Kringle of a tour-guide, who was kind enough to translate every stop of the tour into English solely for Star and I, and the caves really were impressive, with underground rivers and enormous stalagm(ct)ites. It was fantastic.

#russ